Fucking God!
- A phone token, please. - No tokens. At the end, on the left.
Maman? Yes, it's Jeanne.
I've found a flat to rent in Passy. I'm going to see it.
Then I've got to go to the station to meet Tom. I promised him.
OK, see you later. Bye!
I've come to see the flat. I saw the sign.
- The sign? - Yes.
It's always the same! Nobody ever tells me anything.
- I'd like to see it. - You want to rent it?
- I don't know yet! - They rent, they leave
and I'm the last to know.
Do you think that's right?
If you want to go up alone,
go on. I'm afraid of spiders.
The key is missing.
Strange things happen.
They drink six bottles a day.
Wait! Don't go! There must be a duplicate.
Here it is.
You must be very young.
Let go of me!
She's crazy!
Who are you?
You gave me a fright. How did you get in?
- Through the door. - Oh, yes. I left it open.
I didn't hear you come in.
- I was already here. - Sorry?
Oh, it was you who took it.
I had to bribe the concierge.
These old houses are fascinating.
An armchair by the fireplace would look good.
The armchair should go
in front of the window.
Are you American?
You've got an American accent.
- Are you going to take it? - Are you?
I don't know.
What are you doing?
Oh là! là!
Do I answer it or not?
Oh!
Hello? Hello?
Hello.
Hello!
There's no-one here.
There's no-one!
I don't know.
So you're going to take it? You've decided?
I had already decided.
But I'm not sure now.
Do you like it?
Do you like it?!
I don't know. I shall have to think about it.
Think fast.
I thought you'd left.
Aah... Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus... Oh...
Oh, Christ.
Oh, God.
- Watch out! - Have they taken us for someone else?
We're in a film. We're in a film.
If I kiss you,
it might be cinema.
If I stroke your hair,
it might be cinema.
What's going on? Do you know them?
It's a long story. In short, Portrait of a Girl.
It's been accepted for television! And the girl is you. It's you!
You're mad! You might have asked me first.
Yeah, but I wanted...
I wanted to start with shots of Jeanne at the station meeting her fiance.
Yes, I know them. They're my crew.
So you kissed me,
and you knew it was being filmed.
You're a bastard! Traitor!
No, you'll see. It will be a love story.
Tell me, Jeanne, darling. What did you do while I was away?
I thought of you day and night, and I cried.
Darling, I can't live without you!
Wonderful! Cut! That was perfect!
I'd have finished by now,
but the police wouldn't let me touch anything.
They didn't believe it was suicide. There was so much blood everywhere.
They had fun making me do a reconstruction.
"She went there."
"She came through here."
"She opened the curtain."
I copied all her actions.
The guests were awake all night!
The hotel was crawling with cops!
They enjoy playing around with blood.
They were all spies!
Asking if she was sad, if she was happy,
if you fought,
how long you'd been married, why you didn't have any children.
Piss!
They got familiar right away!
They said, "Your boss is a bit unstable."
"Do you know that he was a boxer?"
so?
"It didn't work out,
so he became
an actor."
"Bongo player,
revolutionary in South America,
journalist in Japan."
"One day, he lands in Tahiti,
hangs around,
learns French."
"Then he comes to Paris. There...
he meets a woman with money, marries her and..."
"Since then what has your boss done?"
"Nothing."
I say, "Can I clean up now?"
"No! Don't touch anything!"
"Do you really think she killed herself?"
He pushed me into a corner and tried to paw me...
Turn the tap off now.
They'll be doing the autopsy right now.
Why won't you turn the tap off“?
They told me to give you your razor back.
It's not mine.
They said they don't need it any more. The investigation is over.
Yes, she had cuts there...
and on the neck, too...
Excuse me, where shall I put this?
- You could have rung the bell. - The door was open. I'll put it there.
In front of the fireplace.
- Careful, madame. - There.
- What about the table? - How do I know? He'll decide.
- This is a king-size! - It won't fit.
Well, your husband has no idea. All this in an hour... It's not long.
What a mess!
- Thank you. - Thank you.
The armchair goes in front of the window.
Like that.
But I only came to return the key.
- To return it to you. - I don't care about the key.
Take your coat off.
Take your coat off and help me.
OK.
Get those chairs and bring them here.
Put them on the other side.
Take that, too.
That's it.
You didn't waste any time.
Listen, monsieur!
I've got to go.
Look, sir! I've got to go.
The bed is too big for the room.
I don't know what to call you.
I don't have a name.
- Do you want to know mine? - No, no! I don't.
I don't want to know your name.
You don't have a name and I don't have a name either. Not one name.
You're crazy!
Maybe I am, but I don't want to know anything about you.
I don't wanna know where you live or where you come from.
I wanna know nothing.
- You scare me. - Nothing.
You and I are gonna meet here
without knowing anything that goes on outside here.
OK?
But why?
Because...
Because we don't need names here.
Don't you see?
We're gonna forget...
everything that we knew. Every...
All the people,... all that we do,... wherever we live.
We're going to forget that, everything, everything.
But I can't.
Can you?
I don't know.
Are you scared?
NO.
Come.
- I thought you'd be here. - I expected you later.
I took the first train.
Oh, Paul! How awful! How awful, Paul!
Papa is in bed with asthma.
The doctor wouldn't let him come.
It's better like that.
I'm stronger.
What are you looking for?
Something that would explain...
- A letter, a clue. - Nothing.
I told you, there's nothing, nothing at all.
My little Rosa wouldn't have...
Nothing for her mother. Not a word.
It's useless to keep on searching.
Not even for you, her husband!
You need to rest.
I think room 12 is free.
With a razor?
What time did it happen?
I don't know. In the evening.
And then?
Then I... I already told you on the phone...
When I found her,
I called the ambulance.
After you called,
Papa and I stayed up all night,
talking about Rosa and you.
Papa kept whispering,
as if it had happened in our house.
Paul!
- Where did it happen? - In one of the rooms.
Did she suffer?
Ask the doctors. They're doing the autopsy.
The autopsy.
I already had some announcement cards.
I've seen a lot of death.
I think of everything.
I'll prepare her a beautiful room with flowers.
The cards,
clothes, relatives, flowers.
You've got everything in that suitcase.
You didn't forget anything.
But I don't want any priests here.
- But... - No priests.
- But, Paul... - Understand?
- We have to. Funerals must be religious. - No!
Rosa didn't believe.
Nobody believes in the fucking God here!
Paul, don't shout. Don't talk like that.
The priest doesn't want any suicides.
The Church doesn't want any suicides, do they?
They'll give her absolution.
Absolution and a nice mass. That's all I ask, Paul.
Rosa... Rosa is my little girl, do you understand?
Rosa... Why did she kill herself?
Why? Why did she commit suicide?
Why?
You don't know?
You don't know.
Ah...
Now...
Let's... Let's just look at each other.
It's beautiful without knowing anything.
Maybe...
Maybe we can come without touching.
Come without touching?
OK.
Are you concentrating?
- Did you come yet? - No.
- It's difficult! - I didn't either yet.
You're not trying hard enough.
I shall have to invent a name for you.
A name? Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh, God, I've been called by a million names all my life.
I don't want a name. I'm better off with a grunt or a groan for a name.
Do you wanna hear my name?
- It's so masculine. - Yeah.
Listen to mine.
I didn't get the last name.
You shouldn't have done that to me.
It's not a wig, it's my hair.
Doesn't it suit me? Tell me, don't you like it? Tell me.
Of course I like it.
Listen, you know...
I don't know.
You have changed, and yet you haven't.
I can see the shot now.
The camera is up high.
It descends slowly and follows you.
You come forward, and it moves in on you.
There's music, too.
It gets closer and closer to you.
I'm in a hurry. Let's start.
But...
"can't we talk a little first?
Tonight we improvise.
You follow.
He was my childhood friend.
He used to watch me for hours and hours. I think he understood me.
Dogs are worth more than people. Much more.
Meet Olympia, my nanny.
Mustapha could always tell the poor from the rich.
If someone well-dressed came in, he never stirred.
But if someone scruffy came in, you should have seen him! What a dog!
The colonel trained him to recognise Arabs by their scent.
- Olympia, open the front door. - Give me a kiss.
Go and open it.
Olympia is a compendium of domestic virtues.
Faithful, admiring, and racist.
After Papa died, we moved back to the family home for a while.
My childhood was made up of smells.
Musty smells, the smell of walls and rooms.
Children used to come and play in my jungle, all day long.
Growing old is a crime.
That's me there.
And that's Mademoiselle Sauvage, the teacher.
She was very strict... and very religious.
She was too good. She spoilt you.
That's Christine,
my best friend.
She married the pharmacist and has two children.
It's like a village here. We all know each other.
I couldn't live in Paris.
We're safe here.
- It's odd looking at the past. - Cut!
Why is it odd? It's you! It's fantastic, it's your childhood.
It's everything I was looking for.
What are you up to? Move it! Move it!
Who are these zombies who are always following you around? Scoot!
Go on! The door, the door...
I'm opening the door.
I'm opening all the doors.
- What are you doing? - Setting up my shot.
There it is! That's it! I've found it.
Reverse gear!
What are you doing there?
Beat it!
That's it. Into reverse. Yes!
Do you see? Like a car, you go into reverse gear.
That's it. Close your eyes.
Start reversing. Close your eyes.
That's it, come on. Come on backwards.
That's it. Go back to your childhood.
- Papa? - You're soaring.
- Take off and return to your childhood. - In full uniform.
Don't be afraid. Overcome the obstacles.
Papa in Algeria.
You're 15.
14,
13,... 12,
11,... 10,... 9.
- We're there. - My favourite route when I was eight.
My old notebook.
French homework. Theme: the countryside.
Exposition: the countryside is cow country.
The cow is all dressed in leather.
The cow has four sides: the front, the back,
the top and the bottom.
- Isn't that good? - Beastly!
Here are my cultural sources. Le Grand Larousse.
I just copied from it.
Menstruation. Noun.
Physiological function comprising the discharge of menses.
Penis. Noun.
Male copulation organ, measuring five to forty centimetres.
That's Le Petit Robert.
Tom! Tom!
Tom! Look!
- Who's that? - My first love.
- Who? - My cousin Paul. My first love.
- But his eyes are closed. - What?
- His eyes are closed! - He played the piano divinely.
That's howl remember him.
Sitting at the piano...
His fingers would skim the keys.
He played for hours and hours.
At the bottom of the garden, there were two big trees.
A plane tree and a chestnut tree.
After mass on Sundays, we used to sit there,
each under our own tree.
It was wonderful. We sat gazing into each other's eyes.
Aren't my trees beautiful? They were my jungle.
- What are you doing? - Having a shit.
No, we're doing a poo.
- Shame on you, doing it in my jungle! - Watch out! Run for it!
Oh, these dirty little Arabs! Go and shit in your own country!
Keep filming. Keep filming!
Don't stop, whatever you do!
- Did you get it? - Everything.
Olympia was great. It'll give a good idea of race relations in the suburbs of Paris.
It's a real jungle here.
So, tell me about your father.
- I thought we'd finished. - Five minutes.
- I'm meeting someone for work. - But the colonel...
The colonel had green eyes and shiny boots.
I worshipped him.
He was so handsome in his uniform.
What a steaming pile of horseshit.
What? Don't...
All uniforms are bullshit.
Everything outside this place is bullshit.
Besides, I don't want to hear about your stories, about your past, and all that.
He died in Algeria in '58.
Or '68 or '28 or '98.
'58. And don't joke about things like that.
Why don't you stop talking about things that don't matter here?
What the hell's the difference?
OK.
So what do I have to say? What do I have to do?
Come on the good ship...
Lollipop...
Why don't you go back in America?
I don't know.
Bad memories, I guess.
Of what?
Oh...
My father was a...
...a drunk.
Tough. Whore-fucker, bar-fighter. Super-masculine.
And he was tough.
My mother was very...
Very poetic.
And also a drunk.
And...
one of my memories, when I was a kid,
was of her being arrested nude.
We lived in this small town.
Farming community. We lived on a farm.
And I'd come home after school
and she'd be gone.
In jail... or something.
And...
I used to...
I used to have to milk a cow
every morning and every night and I liked that.
I remember...
one time I was all dressed up
to go out and take this girl to a basketball game.
And I started to go out and my father said, "You have to milk the cow."
I said, "Would you please milk it for me?"
And he said, "No, get your ass out there."
So I went out and I was in a hurry and didn't have time to change my shoes.
And I had cowshit all over my shoes.
And on the way to the basketball game, it smelled in the car.
I don't know.
I-I can't remember very many good things.
Not one?
Yeah. Some.
There was a farmer, a very nice guy.
Old guy, very poor, and worked real hard.
I used to work in a ditch, draining land for farming.
And he wore overalls and he smoked a clay pipe.
Half the time he wouldn't put tobacco in it.
And I hated the work.
It was hot and dirty and...
it broke my back.
And...
all day long I'd watch his spit which would run down the pipe stem
and hang on the bowl of the pipe.
And I used to make bets with myself on when it was going to fall off.
And I always lost.
I never saw it fall off.
I'd just look around and it'd be gone and then the new one would be there.
And then we had a beautiful...
My mother...
My mother taught me to love nature.
And...
I guess that was the most she could do.
And... we had...
In front of our house we had this big field... meadow.
It was a mustard field in the summer
and we had a big black dog named Dutchy.
She used to hunt for rabbits in that field
but she couldn't see them.
So she'd have to leap up in this mustard field and look around very quickly
to see where the rabbits were.
And it was...
very beautiful.
And she never caught the rabbits.
You have been had!
Oh, really?
I don't wanna know anything about your past, baby!
You think I was telling you the truth?
Maybe.
I'm a Red Riding Hood and you're the wolf.
What strong arms you have!
The better to squeeze a fart out of you!
What long nails you have!
The better to scratch your ass with.
Oh, what a lot of fur you have!
The better to let your crabs hide in.
Ooh, what a long tongue you have!
The better to...
to stick in your rear, my dear.
What's this for?
That's your happiness and my...
my ha-penis.
Peanuts?
Schlong.
Wienerwurst.
Cazzo.
Bitte. Prick! Joint!
It's funny.
It's like playing grown-ups when you're little.
I feel like a child again here.
Did you have fun as a kid?
It's the most beautiful thing.
It's beautiful to be made into a tattletale
or forced to admire authority
or sell yourself for a piece of candy.
- I wasn't like that. - No?
I was writing poems.
I was drawing castles,... big castles with tower.
A lot of tower.
- You never thought about sex? - No. No sex.
- "No. No sex." - Tower.
You were probably in love with your teacher.
- My teacher was a woman. - Then she was a lesbian.
- How did you know? - That's classical.
But anyway.
My first love was my cousin Paul.
No!
I'm gonna get a haemorrhoid if you keep telling me names.
No names. I don't mind if you tell the truth, but don't give me the names.
Sorry. Sorry.
Well, go on. Tell the truth.
What else?
I was 13. He was dark, very thin.
I can see him. Big nose! A big romance.
I fell in love with him when I heard him playing piano.
You mean when he first got into your knickers.
He was a child prodigy. He was playing with both hands.
I'll bet he was.
Probably getting his kicks.
We were dying of heat.
Oh, yeah. Good excuse. What else?
In the afternoon, when the grown-ups were napping...
- You started grabbing his joint. - You're crazy!
- Well, he touched you. - I never let him!
Oh!
Liar, liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire.
No, I'm not.
Look me straight in the face and say, "He didn't touch me once."
- Huh? - He touched me, but the way he did it.
Aha! The way he did it.
OK, what did he do?
Behind the house, there were two trees.
A plane tree and a chestnut.
I sat under the plane tree and he sat under the chestnut.
And one, two, three... We each began to masturbate.
The first who came...
Won!
Why aren't you listening to me?
When did you first come? How old were you?
The first time?
I was really late for school.
I started running and it was downhill.
All of a sudden, I felt a strong sensation here.
So I ran and ran
and I came as I ran.
The faster I ran, the better it was and the more I came.
A couple of days later, I tried to do it again,
but no luck.
Why aren't you listening to me?
Why do I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall when I talk to you?
Your solitude weighs on me.
It isn't indulgent. it isn't generous.
You are selfish!
I can be by myself, too, you know!
I can't sleep with this music.
I came to this hotel a long time ago, to spend one night.
And I stayed for five years.
When Papa and I had the hotel,
people came here to sleep.
Now, there's all sorts.
They can hide, take drugs, play music.
Take your hand away.
You're not alone, Paul. I'm here.
You're crazy!
I'm starting to understand.
Do you want me to make them shut up?
OK. I'll make them shut up.
- What are you doing, Paul? - I'm afraid!
What's the matter, Mother? Are you upset? Don't be.
There's nothing to be upset about.
It takes so little to make them afraid.
I'll tell you what they're afraid of.
They're afraid of the dark. Imagine that!
Come on, Mother. Meet my friends.
Put the light on!
You should meet a few clients of the hotel.
Hey, folks. I'd like you to say hello to Mom.
Mom, this is Mr Juicehead Junky here.
And...
Mr Saxophone, he's... He's our connection, Mom.
He gives us some hard stuff once in awhile.
And right here is the beautiful Miss Blowjob 1933.
She still makes a few points when she takes her teeth out.
The light, Paul.
Say hello, Mom! This is Mom!
Oh! You afraid of the dark, Mom?
She's afraid of the dark. Oh, poor thing.
All right, sweetheart. I'll take care of you. I'll give you a little light.
Don't you worry.
- Good evening, madame. - Good evening.
Good evening, Marcel.
Goodnight, Paul.
Who's that?
Do you like him?
He was Rosa's lover.
What am I doing in this apartment with you?
Love?
Well...
Let's say we're just taking a flying...
a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
So you think I'm a wore.
I think you're a what? A what? A wore?
- A wore. - You mean whore.
Yes, a whore. Whore.
No, you're just a good old-fashioned girl... trying to get along.
I prefer to be a whore.
Why were you going through my pockets?
To find out hon you are.
- To find out hon you are. - Yes.
Well, if you look real close, you'll see me hiding behind my zipper.
Well, we know that he buys clothes in some big store.
That's not much.
But it's a beginning.
That's not a beginning, that's a finish.
Well, OK. Let's forget it.
- How old are you? - I'll be 93 this weekend.
- Oh, you don't look it! - Thank you.
- Have you been in college? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I went to...
the University of Congo.
- Studied whale-fucking. - Wow!
Barbers don't usually go to university.
Are you telling me that I look like a barber?
No, but that's a razor's barber.
That's a barber's razor.
Barber's razors, yes.
Or a madman's.
So you want to cut me up?
NO.
That would be like writing my name on your face.
Like they do to slaves?
Slaves are branded on the ass and I want you free.
Free?! I'm not free!
You want to know why...
why you don't want to know anything about me?
- Because you hate women. - Oh, really?
What have they ever done to you?
Well,... either they always pretend to know who I am
or they pretend I don't know who they are
and that's very boring.
I'm not afraid to say who I am.
I am 20 years old...
No! Jesus Christ!
Don't... Where is your brain?
State zitta.
Halt's Maul, Schweinehund. Shut up.
Get it?
I know it's tough but you're gonna have to bear it.
You know, these sinks are really beautiful.
They're very rare, you don't find them any more.
I think it's these sinks that let you stay together.
Don't you think?
What's that? What's all this?
Mad? Mad?
I think I'm happy with you.
Again!
Do it again!
Again!
I'm coming! I'm ready.
Shall we leave together?
Bastard!
He's a git! Not even goodbye!
- Tom! - Jeanne!
What are you doing there? I'm coming! I'll fly!
- Wait! I've got to talk to you. - Why didn't you speak on the phone?
What's up?
- You must find someone else. - For what?
- For your film. - Why?
Because you're taking advantage of me.
Because you make me do things I've never done.
Because you're taking up my time.
You make me do whatever you want.
The film is over!
I'm tired of being raped!
Come in!
You wanted to talk to me. Go on, then.
You know I haven't come to cry with you?
Do you mind if I carry on working?
It helps me a lot after what has happened.
Identical.
Rosa wanted them identical.
Our bath robes?
You can't tell me anything I don't already know?
Same colour, same pattern.
Yes, yes, yes.
You're meticulous.
I've always wondered why you save newspaper clippings.
Is it work? Or a hobby?
Hobby? I don't like that word.
Let's say it's some extra cash. I do it for an agency.
Oh, so it's serious.
It's a job that makes you read?
Very educational.
Be honest.
You didn't know we had the same bathrobes.
Marcello.
We've got a lot of things in common.
Marcello, I know everything.
No, Rosa often talked to me about you.
I don't think there are many marriages like that.
It's strange.